Balance?!? Can it be found!?

I am somewhere in between Balance and Insanity?! I can't seem to find the true balance to anything anymore. When I was in elementary school I balanced my schedule very well (or should I say my mom did) and I did exemplary on the balance beam. When I was in middle school I learned to balance friendships, relationships, broken hearts, and drill team. High school brought more new "balances" to my life and I either ignored them or I challenged them or rebelled against them. Now I was a "good" child comparatively but not "good" in the eyes of the Lord. After high school and into the "real" world I learned to balance life on my own and also experienced "not" balancing life right! Job, new apartments, car payment and insurance, bills, checkbook, and more didn't always balance out right. I learned, steered myself in the right direction, or so I thought, and tried again. At the age of 20, I realized I had utterly failed at trying to balance it all and surrendered my life to Jesus, believe that He died on the cross for me and would forgive me of my sins and help me balance out my life.

In that direction I began to live my life balanced for Jesus. Although many people believed I lived unbalanced, completely leaving out the world and putting Jesus in everything. I didn't accept that then and I still don't accept it now and Jesus is still the balance of my life. However I find myself still trying to balance?!

As a homeschool mom and a pastor's wife, I've discovered that there are many balances that I must maintain and many more that I've let go of. You see I have not just one person reallying on me for their complete education, but I have three. I focus on one and the other two get left out, but when I focus on all three, sometimes there is a tug and pull of things I must let go of. Who needs the most help today seems to be my answer? Then my household duties of cleaning, washing, folding, putting away, keeping everything general in balance of the house get put on the side. However if I put those above the schoolwork, then the schoolwork fails. Same thing with kids clothing. The other day I cleaned out closets and drawers for spring/summer change and only to find that the rest of the house and the school work was out of balance and a mess. But that is not all I do. I also have to balance between 3 bible studies, one children's study, ladies ministry team, ministry events along the way, people to see, places to go, errands to run, meals to fix and make sure they are balanced, lectures to make, not to over exasperate my children, ladies team website, any pertinent information my husband drops along the way, taking care of him and respecting him, and I could go on and on. Where is the balance? I mean really? When I focus on one, the others fall by the wayside? When I focus on the wayside, the important stuff gets put on the back burner. But school can't, ministry can't, my family can't but put "away", nor do I want them to be.

So where is the balance? Honestly I'm struggling with the balance. However I know the answer lies within Jesus arms. If I stay close to Him he will lead me through. He will help me take care of all the "balance" issues and people will see Him through me leading a balanced life. I'm struggling but I go to Him because He holds me in His hand and won't let me go. So if I'm overbalanced or under balanced I still won't fall! Thank you Jesus.