Be still and Know that I am God

The alarm clocks buzzes on too early in the morning. My husband rubs my back in effort to get me out of bed. I do. I take a nice long bath and get my nice warm robe on and make myself a great big cup of Diet Coke (sorry coffee drinkers, I'm not there yet) and then I sit down in my recliner, kick my feet up and pull out my devotional and my bible. This is my absolutely, undisbutable favorite time of the day. I read His love letter to me and try to absorb His grace, His mercy, and His friendship. Its in the hush of the morning, the solitude, the quiet, and nobody else is up. I call on His name and He meets me there everymorning! He hears me, He whispers to me, and He calls me by name. He sometimes wipes the tears away and sometimes He just lets me cry all the while collecting those tears in a bottle. He laughs with me and talks with me. Sometimes He tells me things I don't like and I get angry, but then He shows me why and although I still don't like them, but He holds me close while I'm going through it. I praise Him!

High on my list of things I love about mornings is the hush that happens right after breakfast. You see my husband and I think it is important to pass on disciplines in your life that matter. Quiet time matters in our household so we are passing that on to our children as well. I love when I doing my chores quietly and I pop my head into their rooms and see them reading the Word of God! How awesome is that Holy time they are having. They might not get everything they read, they also might not grasp all of His love being poured out to them, but they get that this is important. They understand that He wants to meet with them and then they bow their heads to pray. Their prayers are simple and sometimes routine, but He listens and He whispers their names. Sometimes they hear Him, but mostly they don't. My prayer is that one day it will be their favorite time of the day as well.

Is it yours? Do you love to meet with your Savior?

Rejoice, and again I say rejoice!

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I cried a lot! You see I'm a stuffer and I try not to cry, and I hold back the tears more and more, until one day it all comes out and that was yesterday. I'm glad that day is over and today is a new day, full of His new mercies. I've learned that whatever state though my heart is in to rejoice. Paul says, "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice!" Even though I was sad, I knew the Lord was there and that produces a deep joy inside that I knew was there. Thank you for all you who are praying for me cause it truly got me through a bad day! Love you all!

Where does it go?

Okay, today and this year have been quite frustrating in the homeschooling realm of things. My oldest has had to step up to the plate this year and really study and really make her brain work (I guess the other grades have been too easy). She hasn't liked any of it. She is still making mostly A's and some B's but she has had to work hard at it everyday that we do school (Not to mention that I have to work hard at studying Pre-algebra, history, science, and more and encourage her along even when I know she hates every minute of it right now).

Now my middle child is that, somewhere in the middle. This year however he has managed to make straight A's except for one B the first semester. He has truly stepped up and did all his work.

But my youngest I'm at a loss. I don't understand how she could manage to get to the third grade, easily at a 4 or 5th grade reading level, understand basic mathematical calculations, and yet forget the rest. I don't understand.

Let me give you an example. In first grade you teach your kids what a noun and what a verb is right. Well she could always quote to me verbatim the definition of those two. Recognize the noun and verb in a sentence, etc. In second grade you do the same thing and now in third grade your adding more along the other parts of speech (helping verbs, adjectives, etc). So every year it astounds me that we will be floating along and she gets it right one day and then the next she will wake up and do school and will look at me as if she had never heard those words before?!

I'll ask what is a verb?
I don't know mommy.
We've gone over this before, "A verb is a word..... now you finish it"
Takes the place of a ...... noun maybe?
AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!

Now for first grade I would understand this forgetfulness and maybe given a stretch second grade, but third grade no way. So on we go. All of November and December was given to verbs, verb phrases, action verbs, state of being verbs, etc. Everyday it was a new challenge to see what she retained. Some days she got it perfect and other days you were speaking a foreign language to her.

So today, she has a quiz. Now mind you we've had quite a bit of down time and a tragedy in our family. But her not remembering what we covered for two whole months (and collectively three years running now), astounds me. Today it was:

Review: Isabella what is an action verb? I don't know mommy? Maybe like, "Sarah was playing outside." and "outside" is the verb? (telling me in an asking voice and watching my face to see my reaction). No! Isabella that is not an action verb. Holding the broom, I said, "If I was to do an action right now what would it be?" "Sweep!" she said! Yeah, then I said, "give me some action verbs. After a minute of silence, I said, "give me some action verbs that you would do." I don't know mommy was her response. AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH! I covered my face and prayed at this moment that He would help me.

Where does it go? I mean she gets it one day. I do audio, visual, and kinesthetic things with her for all her subjects and this isn't the only one this happens with. Its like the "brain fairy" takes it out of her memory bank for a day or two just to see my reaction and then puts it back in. I don't understand how a very bright child can just "forget". But she does. How does someone who knows how to read not remember what a verb is?

Okay, just wanting to vent a little and see if anyone else out there is shaking there head in understanding as well.

Driving, school, and life

Well I feel as though I've driven so many miles in the past 6 weeks that I need "frequent driving" rewards from somewhere. I don't even want to think what my gas bill will be like. I'm so thankful though that God placed His angels over us and somehow managed to get from here to there and back (many times) without any incidents. I think I could drive my route blindfolded now.

School?! Hmmmm. . . Well when you homeschool you have to go with what life gives you somedays. Since my mom went to be with Jesus, school has kind of been on afterthought. Now that some things are squared away we are well on our way to doing more school. I did push the kids hard last semester trying to get them a little ahead of the game so I won't feel so behind. I really don't feel behind, other than my mind still isn't engaged. I need to be more on the lookout for opportunities for them to do, like field trips (more educational than fun) and to think outside the box where school is to help them enjoy this process a little more. But see that is where I struggle. I don't think outside the box too well. I'm too, well, lets say "square" most of the time. Any thoughts on how to liven up school and still academically succeed. And Amy how did you get Noah to take the SAT test? Can Sarah? Where would I find out? I believe she is gifted and talented (of course I think all of my kids are) but can I get her to take it too? Okay, enough about school. We aren't exactly finished just yet. Sarah is still reading and then she has vocabulary. She did a great job on her first test since Christmas! YEAH! I think this year might go down as the year my kids learned, but they didn't learn it from me.

Life, well it amazes me that it continues no matter what has happen. When tragedy strikes you sit back and think and things seem to get done but your not sure how. I am also amazed that the whole world, except for the small part you live in and your family and friends, continues on as if everything is normal, but for you it is not. It never really dawned on me until my moms funeral that other people all over the world was going through the exact same thing. Even last week as I was helping my step-dad with all the details of cleaning out the house and the bills and running errands, I passed by the funeral home where we had my moms funeral. They had a viewing going on, another family coming in to plan and a graveside going on all at the same time. Three families in one day were going through this grief. I truly felt for them and prayed for them. But life does go on and very soon (too soon I'm afraid) there will be a day I'll forget all this and then another day and then weeks will go by and life will have started again. I don't want to forget her and but my life will get busy with the hectic schedules and the schooling again and well I'll continue to live life without my mom. Praise God one day I'll be with Him and I'll see her again. She was with me as I began life and I was able to be with her as she ended this life and went on to another. Life goes on!

MP3 players?!*

My sweet mother-in-law became the hit of Christmas by buying MP3 players for all my children. Now mind you, even though I blog, I didn't know the difference between that and an Ipod, a walkman, and a radio. I know now, but I didn't then. Thankfully my sister-in-law knew what she was doing. However in trying to download music onto them only one of them worked. So off we went to return after Christmas. They didn't have the same kind so we went to another store and purchased 2 more. Yes, believe or not, only one of those worked! So off we went to the store again to return and purchase yet another MP3 player. After we had all of them working we started downloading music onto them. What I didn't know is that we had a fly on the wall per say while we were doing it. You see she was showing me how to "rip" a CD and to "sync" it onto the player. So when we got home, my son said, "Hey, mom I want to download a particular song from a CD onto my MP3 player." I told him he would have to wait until I had time. He said, "No mom, I know how to do it." I thought, NO WAY. But amazingly so as I passed by the room he was telling his sisters how to "rip" a CD and how to "sync" it. I am truly amazed at the young mind and how intelligent they are and how little we give them credit for. Thank you Mom and thank you Amy for the MP3 players and lessons on "how to", but Zech will take it from here!

Friends!

"Two is better than one .... For if they fall, one will lift up his companion .... Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm ..... and a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Eccl. 4:9-12

I have to tell you about some amazing friends of mine! I have friends from Oklahoma, friends from Texas, friends from Arkansas, and a friend in Chicago, Illinois! They are all so amazing. I have one friend of mine that we could have a book published on how many emails we send back and forth to one another. They aren't short emails either, they are long ones, but they are ones I look forward to over and over again. She is an amazing woman of God! I have some other friends who drive so far just to see me a few short hours when my mother died. I still am overwhelmed at how far and wide their love goes. I have friends that have called me over and over and over again during this last week "just to check in on me". I have a friend who I finally met up with again, who was my best friend in High School. Oh it was so good to see her again and we just picked up where we left off. We both haven't changed much (well I really should say her, not me). I have friends who love to laugh and help me when I need a laugh. They all love the Lord and through Him they love me. They love me when I'm not being nice, they love me when I'm down or when I'm scared. They love me in the good times and in the bad. They are all the bestest friends anyone could ever have! I am truly blessed beyond all measure because God allows me to have my friends!

So thank you to all my friends out there for all your love, your support, your prayers, and your hugs (even when they are over email). I don't know why you continue to be my friend, but I sure am glad you are! You amaze me over and over again and you are a testimony to the scriptures. May I be as good of a friend as you are to me! I love you!

More Christmas pics!

Amazing all the stuff they get!
Isabella received a "Belle" costume from her Aunt and Uncle and cousins.

If you look closely in the middle you will see Zech's remote control helicopter flying in our living room!

Christmas

Okay, I'm finally going to post some pictures on here of my children and their fun Christmas. Some of them are here and some are at Grandparents house. They got loads of stuff and had a blast! They are still spending some Christmas money they received from Grandparents and such. The picture of Isabella is with her spinners on (tennis shoes with skates).

In Memory

Most of you who read my blog knows that my mother went to be with Jesus on Monday, January 7th. I'm so thankful for the many memories I have of her. She is missed so very much, but I will one day see her again.

A beautiful lady from our church came by today with this poem. Every song sung at my mother's funeral was put in this poem: Amazing Grace, Holy Ground, Crown Him

"I have fought the good fight"
Paul's words tell her story
As Karla's last breath
Praised God for His glory

It was a wonderful world
Filled with amazing grace
As Karla stood faithful
To the Lord of her faith

Walking life's journey
She found rest for her soul
As she shared with others
How God made her whole

The ground that she walked on
As she traveled this earth
Was holy and precious
And filled with new birth

It sparkled with crowns
Of kindness and praise
As she relected Christ's glory
In numerous ways

When His angels came
To carry her home
She was ready and willing
To bow at Christ's throne

And wear on her head
The crown she has earned
By walking this life
In the light of His Word

Her family will miss her
But they want all to know
They still feel her love
In the depths of their souls

For Karla was faithful
To fight the good fight
By sharing with others
The Gift of God's light.

by Karen Nadeua
Lamar Baptist Church, Wichita Falls, Tx

Pondering

Well it is very late at night for me to be up, but I am. It is actually 5 minutes till midnight. I'm struggling with my mom not doing very well right now, but mostly I'm pondering how in the world I am awake at this time at night. Most of you out there know what is happening with my mom. But what most of you don't know is the emotional roller coaster that is going on as well. I'm mentally always thinking, thinking of her, of our growing up, of her going to be with Jesus, and her smile. I'm mentally thinking of all the things waiting for me when I get home. Yes it will still be there but I think of it anyway. I'm thinking of how I haven't even posted anything on her since before Christmas and I have wonderful pictures of kids just playing and smiling with their new toys. I'm pondering how in the world does one survive after their mom is in heaven, but then again, I know Jesus and that who she will be with. I know I will survive and I know I'll even laugh again at her memory but the wound is too raw right now. You see I'm pondering how thankful I am for my mom. She taught me so much and she was for so long a best friend to me. She sacrificed so much for my brother and I. I've thanked her millions of times and she never did it for the thanks, but it was never enough. So I'll sit here and ponder more and then try and go to sleep! Thanks for listening to me ponder.