The grenade went off . . .

The Trenches

It was one of those mornings! You know the one I’m referring to, you’ve been there. You actually woke up that morning before the kids and sat down to be with the Lord. You had tried your best to keep your mind focusing on Him, but it kept focusing on the day ahead. You prayed and put your armor on asking the Lord just to keep you safe. With your armor on, your fingers ready for war and your hands ready for combat (Blessed be the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle (spankings and finger waggings need training you know!)Psalms 144:1) you felt pretty safe. But then it hit, the hand grenade in the trenches you were hunkering down in and all explosions happened around you and when the dust settled you surmised the damage and cried out, “What happened Lord?” “Did I hear Your Call wrong?”

That morning your husband had a lot on his mind and simply walked out of the house with a mere goodbye. Your children woke up all on the wrong side of the bed and all of them were arguing by breakfast time. You kept your cool by calmly reminding them of their Christian duties to serve one another and as they grumbled and rolled their eyes at yet another one of your lectures they ate in silence.

Chores were done half heartedly and we were all around the table to do our Bible study late again and then there was the argument whose turn it is to read today. History re-alouds got out of hand while they were supposedly listening they were bouncing a little ball around and someone kept getting knocked in the head. All our group time was up when Math needed to start. All three needed help at the same time! After all were squared away I went in to help with Algebra (a four letter word in our house) and my daughter was convinced she heard many statements from the video this way and when I reminded her that is not what he said she argues. So I rewind the video and to prove to her what he said and she was sure he said it different earlier. However we continued and then finally on the last problem, I’m trying to guide her and finally she looks at me and says, “I can do it!” So I go out of the room only to find her working on this problem which I knew she was having trouble with 20 min later and she finally states it just can’t be done. I ask her if she needs my help now and simply show her a mistake she made early on and she finally finishes. About this time I get a call from dear husband and I ask candidly and sarcastically, “When can I put these kids in school?” I was completely serious. I had had it that morning and was really struggling. The grenade had gone off in my trenches and all my reserve was gone. I was reacting and not very proactive. All I had been taught went out the window and here I was suffering from the injuries I had receive from all the shrapnel (words and arguments of the morning).

As I sat down to grade papers a few minutes later the anger festered up inside me even more as I realized that one of my children had underlined Hat and Coat as Verbs! And the grading went on but got even worse and my anger was seething now.

When out of the blue my dear daughter walks in and with tears in her eyes and emotion in her voice, “Mom, I’m sorry I didn’t trust what you were saying to me in Math. I’m sorry that I yelled at you and I’m sorry that I did that.” She was truly sincere and truly sorry for her sins and my heart melted and God reminded me in the very moment, “This is why I’ve asked you to homeschool.”

Everyday I hunker in my trench and ask the Lord to protect me. I have my children with me, but every now and then the enemy sneaks a way through the trench and delivers an explosive blow. However my Lord is there with me and because I’ve homeschooled my children and taught them more about character and wisdom and Him, they survive and we all come out in the end standing tall and remembering His call to homeschool and why we do it.

The musings of a really, really insane homeschool mom!